The Wrong Question — What Most Couples Get Backward When Planning a Wedding

If I were to marry Trent again, there’s one key question I’d ask myself: How simple can I make it?

After years of working with clients at the farm, I’ve noticed a trend. Some couples — and even some planners — seem to be chasing complexity. The underlying question becomes: “How sophisticated, elevated, and over-the-top can we make this wedding?” While there’s nothing wrong with an extravagant event, I’ve found that simplicity often brings more peace, joy, and authenticity.

Some of the most memorable weddings at Of the Land have been marvels of coordination, but they were just as powerful when they were simple and sincere. If you’re juggling a career, school, or major life transitions, simplicity is your secret weapon.

A Simpler Approach to Wedding Planning

Rather than racing through a giant wedding checklist, ask yourself:
Will this matter in 1 year? 5 years? 20 years?

Adopting a “do less” mindset allows you to focus your energy on what truly matters. In that spirit, here are a few common wedding expenses and traditions that you can rethink, reduce, or skip altogether:

What to Consider Skipping:

• Wedding favors: Sweet and simple is fine. Your guests are there to celebrate you, not for the swag bag.
• Individual printed menus: Try one menu per table or one large display. Or go without!
• Ceremony programs: Unless it’s a meaningful keepsake for family, most end up in the trash.
• Late-night snacks: After a full meal and dancing, few guests are still hungry.
• Pre-ceremony drinks: Keep it light. Consider offering a refreshing non-alcoholic station instead.
• Top-shelf liquor: Most guests are content with mid-range options. Save the premium bottle for your honeymoon.
• Champagne toasts: Instead of distributing flutes, simply offer champagne at the bar.
• Overdone table décor: Choose a naturally beautiful venue (like ours!) and let it shine. Over-cluttered tables can feel chaotic.

Real Talk About Wedding Videography

Some videography I’ve seen is absolutely stunning — cinematic, emotional, and expertly crafted. But the truth is, you probably won’t watch it more than once or twice.

Ask yourself:

• Will you really revisit a 20-minute wedding video regularly?
• Could a few short clips from your photographer capture the essence just as well?

Consider whether that budget could be better spent on your honeymoon, a down payment, or simply reducing your stress. You’re allowed to opt out of the Hollywood version of a wedding — and still have a day that feels rich, beautiful, and unforgettable.

Your Day, Your Way

Remember, there’s no one way a wedding should look. Around the world, people have married in caves, cathedrals, backyards, and barns. Whether your day feels like a fairytale or a laid-back picnic, your authenticity is what makes it special.